Reply to Can swinging save sexless marriages or does it just delay the divorce?

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Reply to "Can swinging save sexless marriages or does it just delay the divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reading between the lines of OP’s post, the broader issues were:

- sexless marriage + not talking about it

How common is that here on DCUM ?[/quote]

OP here. You are right. We spent years just barely talking about it. I was afraid to probe. Afraid the answer might be something I couldn’t deal with and I didn’t want to divorce. And for a long time, this worked. We got along fine; we were in a partnership raising kids. Then we stopped getting along, and it became unbearable to me. I don’t believe that he really understood why until all these talks. He was feeling lack of desire for me but didn't really understand the reason why.
I am sharing our experience because I’m sure it’s a common problem on DCUM and elsewhere. I would urge other people to be braver than we were about this very difficult topic.[/quote]
OP, is he into men? Is he bisexual? I’m sure you won’t answer, but here’s my advice, assuming he isn’t fully gay.

He explored his sexuality. You need to give him an ultimatum: if he’s choosing you now, he needs to be monogamous (if you aren’t comfortable with this lifestyle of swinging and clubs.) Just like a straight person who willingly married a blonde with small boobs who really gets off on brunettes with huge milkers, this isn’t an excuse for him to be allowed run off with brunettes. He needs to figure it out, like yesterday. [/quote]

This would be my hypothesis.[/quote]

The op has been back, so she is real.  Also weighing in favor of her authenticity:  she’s keeping dh’s kink or fetish private, which most married people would do.

Good for you, op!  its your right.

I disagree with those saying the DH ‘s kink or fetish is bi or gay.  That’s a dealbreaker for almost all married women.  I think it’s something much more common.

We are from Europe, and there, it is common or even popular to go to a beach which is topless, or even nude/ “clothing optional.”  Many find this very attractive and exciting.  I guess one of the fetishes associated with doing this is called exhibitionism.   Maybe he wants to be nude in front of strangers; maybe it’s seeing his wife being naked in front of other men. Who knows?

The part about op s man going to a club, in front of other people, suggests this an element of his repressed desire. [/quote]
Oh, sweet summer child. You’d be shocked by how common it is. [/quote]

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