Reply to AITA: What responsibility do I have to the memory of my deceased ex-husband?

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Reply to "AITA: What responsibility do I have to the memory of my deceased ex-husband?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you need to examine your own feelings to figure out what your boundaries are -- this seems like it came out as sort of passive-aggressive (although I don't think you're being an A here).

Is the stuff taking up space and inconveniencing you?
Does it upset you to go through his stuff because it reminds you of bad feelings?

If (a), I think in a calm moment say to kids -- kids, I really need the garage space where I've been keeping your stuff.  Can you all make a plan to come by and go through the things to determine what you want to keep and what you'd like to donate or sell? 
If (b), I think you need to say to kids -- Kids, I know you really miss your dad, and I'm so glad you have good memories of him.  Unfortunately, I have a lot of bad memories connected to our relationship, and it really depresses me whenever I have to go through his stuff.  I've been keeping it for you all these years because I love you and respect the relationship you had with him, but it would really help me if you could take it off my hands now.  Or at least not ask me to go through ti for you, as that drags up a lot of bad feelings I'd like to leave in the past.
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