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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems like majority of posts assume cheaters have perfect marriages and cheating has been proven or admitted to.  People respond with their experiences where this was the case with some being more lenient.  But this one isn't a clear cut case and some replies reflect it.  Disclosure is needed.  If the affair is proven and admitted to and/or if family dynamics are heading towards the divorce or it's one of the examples of an open marriage (they do happen), then morality equation is different.  We don't know what we don't know. [/quote]

Speaking of open marriages, it's possible my friend has this arrangement.  The spouse travels for work and also has a friend that we met but isn't in our circle but in the spouse's professional circle..  Ugh.  I am really reluctant to make assumptions, [b]all I want is drama out of my life[/b], why I cut off the "lover" because of douchy behavior..  Now I need to have a hard talk with the friend to come clean about my feelings.  I don't care about morality here as much because their marriage is not all that perect and I don't know half of the things that go on.  Some people like to share this aspect of their lives while others do not.  I am rather conservative and never discuss personal intimate details with anyone, I don't insist my friends do.  This doesn't mean I have poor moral character, I am just respecting other's personal space until it intrudes into mine..[/quote]

So stop thinking about it. Stop talking about it. If your kids want to discuss it with you, you can say that it's none of their business, which it isn't. Why would they stop being friends with their friends? No good reason, those kids didn't do anything.

If your kids are traumatized by something her AP did, then deal with that. The fact that that person is also her AP is a red herring. Stop conflating all the issues. [/quote]

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