Reply to Sacrificing own desires for elderly parents

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Sacrificing own desires for elderly parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ah, yes. Another, we dont want to help the people who raised us as they age towards death thread.

Do you have an obligation to care for loving parents? Yes. (No need to hear from those of you -like me- who had a physically and mentally abusive parent. I get it. I'm not talking to you).

Do you have an obligation to sacrifice everything? No.

It's not either/or. They have some choices to make too. But here, especially, they helped you with your kids. So, yeah, they owe you something.[/quote]

we are not giving up our careers or retirement desires to live in an area we would hate and would not have employment opportunities.  We offered to move parents closer to us, they declined.  they are in a CCRC so well cared for.  They know this means it might be a few days before we can get to them if they are ill/hsopitalized (2 flights if we are at home, more if we are on a vacation).  This way they are well cared for, and we don't feel guilty if we cannot get to them immediately.  They also know this means we only see them a few times per year.  If they want more involvement, they need to move closer to us.  
Note: we have never lived in same area as them, but did live 3 hours from them for 15 years when grandkids were growing up.  But otherwise we have been a huge distance from them.

[/quote]

Thus, why I said you don't have an obligation to sacrifice everything. But, your defensiveness tells me that you know you could do more and are not. [/quote]

Actually not defensive at all.  I paid the $500K entry fee for them to join the CCRC, so I've done plenty for them.  
  But if they won't move to be near us, then it's the best we can do to ensure they are well cared for.  I cannot uproot my family for that, and quite frankly my parents do NOT expect that.  They are thrilled we helped them gain entry to the CCRC[/quote]

Then you are not who I'm talking to. Everyone is happy and cared for in your scenario. So what is it you're adding here?[/quote]

I was responding to your post that contained a high level of attitude towards my post for no reason at all.  It's a public forum, feel free to post comments, but do not get upset when people respond to your harsh and rude comments.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics