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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have several kids.  It shocks me how strong genetics is.  One of our kids is super difficult and we have parented very similarly.  I think it's more complex than just saying "the parents are out to lunch". [/quote]

I agree. In fact, without excellent parenting, my SN kid would be far worse.[/quote]

I think this is at least a significant part of the general trend of kids having more and more noticeable and extreme SN issues, especially when it comes to behavior. I’m not saying it’s a majority of the cause, or even what the OPs situation is. [i]And I’m also not downplaying how hard it is to parent a neurodivergent kid.[/i] it’s definitely not as [i]simple as[/i] “parents are out to lunch”.

But in my opinion, I think it’s disingenuous if society/institutions/parents just responds to challenging behavior by kids with special needs as “oh larlo has a diagnosis and we need to just give him grace, neurotypical 8 yo Larla needs to understand this and not be upset when Larlo punches her!” (which seems to be the way the pendulum has swung recently). Instead of acknowledging that “hey, yes. Him being diagnosed with ___________ is an explanation of his behavior but that’s not an excuse and just means he needs more intensive structure/parenting/teaching along with appropriate discipline”.

Like yes, parenting a SN child more challenging. That means they need more support (along with some grace!),

not to just have everything excused as a manifestation of their disability.

[/quote]

People respond with “have some grace” when it’s not the observer’s responsibility for action. No one is saying the parents shouldn’t be doing more.

We have no idea what these parents are doing at home, and it’s possible that OP doesn’t either. Especially when it comes to minors, not all parents feel like it’s their place to expose a child’s medical conditions even with friends. [/quote]

+1 so many times this

OP started a thread about observing other people's children. I know how much people love judging other parents. It makes you feel so good about yourself, right? But it's kind of sad and pathetic IMO.

FWIW my DH and I are nice people with a kid that is super nice in public. At home, she is rude and demanding. Yes, I tell her no all the time. She is ND and that absolutely impacts her behavior. I didn't move mountains to get her diagnosed to have an "excuse" for her behavior or to get a pass on parenting. JFC.[/quote]

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