Reply to Does hiring childcare make me a bad parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your coworker is envious of all the help you have during a time where she had (or would have) very little help. She's being rude if her judgment is overt or coming out of nowhere.

But if her judgment is more like "wow, that's a lot of help" in a tone of voice that isn't 100% supportive, she's actually not even being rude. That's a sign you need to shut up about all your paid help at work. No one needs to know ALL your business.[/quote]

This. I’m a fed. I took the 10 weeks of leave I’d accrued after each kid was born and went back to work. We had daycare, but no babysitters, no breaks except the ones we gave each other. It was HARD. I don’t judge or resent anyone who has other options, but I am jealous.

I had a coworker who quit to stay at home while her first child was an infant because it was so hard to be a working parent. We were friendly and when we were talking about it one day she was rattling off the things that were difficult and suggesting they were unique challenges (they were not, and I say that as someone who worked through serious PPD/A and I understand not everyone knows what people are going through).

She said something about not knowing how other people do it, as if we could all just quit working and stay home. I said very directly that most of us do it because we have to and we don’t have other options.  I’m sure she took it as being judgmental. I wasn’t judging her decision, but the total lack of perspective.

I also remember being in the grocery store with my then 6 week old and the woman stocking shelves had a baby the same age and was on her second day back to work. I started being real careful about who I complained to about going back after 10 weeks after that. [/quote]

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