Reply to Nowhere for child to sit at birthday party/bullying issues.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I took my 5-year-old DS to a birthday party today for a 6 y/o boy in his class. The boys were wild - just insane. Some of them were 6 turning 7, and were much into the rough and tumble/push-me-pull-you play. [b]They were stealing each other's shoes and running amok; none of the parents seemed to care and were on their phones the entire time. [/b]After about an hour of this, it was time to eat. I took DS to the table area, which had limited seating in a sectioned-off area. There were about 16 kids there and maybe 20 chairs.

I put DS's jacket down on a chair and went away to wash his hands. When I came back, another little boy was sitting in his chair. Pizza was being handed out. DS was upset because someone else "took his spot" and started to get upset. The little boy's mom had her back turned the whole time and didn't seem to care or offer to grab another chair. I ushered him off to the side and looked around for another chair while he started to cry - there were maybe 1 or 2, but kids were still coming in, and then chairs went quickly. Suddenly there was nowhere for DS to sit and he was on the sidelines, he was a bit hot and cranky from running around and playing so I encouraged him to drink some water. He started to cry because he felt left out. None of the adults offered their seats; most were zoned out, eating pizza. So DS started to cry harder, and I (failingly) told him to calm down, drink some water, and I'll grab him a piece of pizza, to which he yelled, "NO!" the host then grabbed a seat and encouraged DS to sit. But he was embarrassed and didn't want to move, so he started to throw a tantrum. I sucked in this situation, and I told him if he didn't stop crying, we would go home - because he was causing a scene at this point, and other parents were just staring at him. Then, another little boy took the seat offered to him, and the other child's parent did nothing.

I was just embarrassed and felt so awkward. My kid was crying and felt left out. There was nowhere for him to sit, but plenty of adults could have stood or moved. I know I worsened the situation by telling him to stop crying or we were leaving. There were no extra chairs for me to grab, and the facility was firm that we couldn't move chairs from other zoned-off party areas. So we just sat at the side, with DS eating alone, and left early.

I don't know what I could have done differently. DS goes to a private school and has been the victim of bullying by older kids who have been pushing him on the playground and holding him down; he's had some minor injuries. The principal was notified that one child had to switch classes, and the other was sent home from school. DS is now afraid to go to school and sees the counselor. He has friends in our neighborhood, and we've signed him up for Cub Scouts, but he's not meshing with his peers at his private school (who are mostly 6+ and did an extra year of kindergarten or were red-shirted). Most of the kids at today's party were older boys.

I would love to hear suggestions from other parents on what to do. These parents were not part of my regular social circle, and I know any of my mom's friends would have offered a seat or grabbed a chair or something to help. They wouldn't have let a child feel left out and cry on the side while the parent looked around frantically, flustered and frustrated, trying to fix it. [/quote]

Sadly, this level of laziness is the status quo. Boyswillbeboys, amirite?  :roll: [/quote]

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