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[quote=Anonymous]Thank you to all who have posted on this thread. I have cptsd from childhood trauma and am utterly exhausted after decades of pursuing healing. I am surprised at the level of grief, anger and pain that is still surfacing. And I am beginning to understand that the chronic pain and autoimmune issues I have as an adult are not unrelated to my childhood abuse.

I am so so angry at my mother for all the ways she caused me so much damage. And I am angry at myself for still having so much anger. I thought the anger was done, all felt and out, but the more I heal the more I discover there is still anger there and that the anger is even more profound than I had thought. I think a lot of it is fueled by realizing that I can’t just walk away from the pain of my past by building the perfect life and making all the right choices and working my a$$ off to heal emotionally. That some pain will be with you and that an abusive childhood breaks you in profound ways.

I believe there is still much healing for me to experience, but for a moment on my journey I am still in this place, experiencing that anger all over again that I have come so far but have so much more to go.

Big hugs to all - 
[/quote]

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