Reply to Waiting 30+ to have kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a friend who needed IVF at 30. She deeply regrets waiting until 30 because IVF set them back financially. I had kids at 35 and 38. Got pregnant very easily. You won’t know where you are on the fertility spectrum by looking at your family history because so many of our mothers and grandmothers had children early. The only way to be sure is to get your fertility tested. It doesn’t give you a solid timeline, but it will let you know if you’re already having problems. [/quote]

This. A lot of people simplistically think fertility is just a function of age and it's just one factor. I conceived a healthy baby on the first try at 36. My sister spent two years in fertility treatments to have her second when she was just 28. And that's within the same family.

Also people always forget that ability to conceive is half-dictated by male fertility. Everyone fixates on maternal age but paternal age matters, and men can also have fertility issues at any age.

All of this should be obvious but people still talk about fertility as though it's just a function of how old the mom is and nothing else, despite copious evidence to the contrary. Women have been having kids in their late 30s and 40s for hundreds of years! Even when life expectancy was much lower. Prior to birth control and women having actual rights and independence, it was not at all uncommon for a woman to have a child at this age (though way more likely for her to die in childbirth or for the child not to survive -- pregnancy at older ages carries higher risks for all involved, but we've also come a long way with that and women tend to be much healthier and receive far better prenatal care now).[/quote]

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