Reply to Why do parents punish the more successful children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s always the children who are self sufficient and hard working who get nothing while the lazy and unambitious get bailed out constantly. It’s becoming tiresome to watch this happen in my family. I hate my job and want to quit but don’t because I need to pay the bills - like an adult. Lazy sibling chooses their hobby as a career and can’t make ends meet - parents always are giving them money and never push them to work a 9-5 like the rest of us. [/quote]

Not being given something isn’t the same as being punished.  Grow up.[/quote]

That's a lie! Not being given time, love, attention, affection and financial help as a child or adult child IS in fact being "punished."[/quote]

Not really. It's scarcity of resources. The parents are in crisis mode trying to stop the bleeding of the messed up kid. They aren't punishing anyone they just have finite resources. I bet if you quit the job and were homeless they would swoop in but who really wants to live like that just to feel worthy?[/quote]

No, it’s not scarcity of resources, it’s a choice.

I’m the poster whose parents support my sister with thousands and thousands more than us. That didn’t stop my dad from calling the contractor to discuss a home repair and negotiating better terms for us— that didn’t cost them a penny. My mom called Verizon to get my sisters deadbeat spouse off her phone plan and in the same call got my Fios monthly bill reduced.

None of those things take “resources”away from the other sibling or the parent, they just show that parents understand and care about their kids who aren’t obviously high needs.[/quote]

And I'm a poster whose parents have drained their bank accounts to pay for legal fees for a ne'er do well alcoholic brother with multiple DUIs, a stint in jail, several arrests, untreated mental illness, and has had weapons confiscated from him by the police because he may be a danger to himself or others.  So now we (me and other brother) provide a lot of assistance to my parents and didn't get the same financial backing as our brother b/c we aren't as nearly screwed up. But I don't hate them for it, call them toxic, or cut them off. I don't wish for a second I was in my brother's shoes and I know they do everything to keep him off the streets and from getting arrested again for more bad choices. I just refuse to talk to them about him or listen to their complaints. In no way was I ever "punished" because of my brother's life even if I got less time, attention and money. I make up for that in many other ways that are more fulfilling. It doesn't have to be exactly even Steven to not be seen as punishment. My brother put my parents between a rock and a hard place. I still have a good relationship with them.[/quote]

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