Reply to S/O - Why does DCUM hate this kind of woman so much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It just comes off as so basic and materialistic. Too each her own, but just not my kind of person.[/quote]

I just don't get why you're judging someone based on what they are wearing.  Aren't we old enough to know not to do that?   My friends have varying degrees of styles.  Some are no make up shop at Target types and others have a bunch of designer stuff.  I can't imagine just immediately deciding someone "wasn't my kind of person" based on how they dressed.  [/quote]

DP but I like people to be themselves.[b] So when I see someone start to dress like someone else because they think that person is cool or whatever, then I’m not going to want to hang out with that person. [/b]

There’s a group of moms in my kids’ sport who all dress like this one mom - Golden Goose sneakers, fedoras, specific jewelry, etc. I find it to be so odd. I wear what I wear, some of which is quite expensive, because I like it, not because someone else wears it and I want to look like them. So when I think people are trying to be like someone else, that’s a sign to me that they are not my kind of person. [/quote]

Now who is being "exclusionary" lol.

But don't worry -- they don't want to hang out with you either. Guarantee it. [/quote]

Lol so you are upset with PP for not liking this but also need her to know that she doesn't belong anyway.

But that's the whole point. When groups of women all wear a uniform, and especially if that uniform involves expensive items that are intended to convey very specific status, it's de facto exclusionary and unless you are willing to conform to that look, you do not belong. That's why people don't like it. No one wants to be the one woman in a group who looks incorrect. But if everyone else is wearing the exact same thing, then you will stick out unless you conform. Which is some of us see groups like this and decide "nope, not for me." That's not exclusionary -- I'd be 1:1 friends with a woman in that group if she was up for it. But no I'm not going to go out to brunch with 8 women wearing the same clothes and jewelry, carrying the same handbag, who all have the same hair and makeup, when I don't look like that and don't want to. Especially because generally when there is that much conformity in appearance, there's a lot of conformity in everything else. And I don't want to spend my time feeling like the weird one.[/quote]

Yup, it’s the Big Dumb Hat, oversized scarf and long boots crowd from 2018…we all know the type. In 2007 they were wearing statement necklaces and skinny jeans and Tory Burch flats. [/quote]

For me it makes me think of college and sororities that enforced strict dress codes or groups of women who would create dress codes for their friend groups for going out or taking pictures. I get why college girls might do this -- you are looking for a friend group, you want to fit in, there is safety in numbers.

But when I see it in women in their 40s, it makes me a little sad. By the time you are this age and married and have kids and have presumable been through some stuff in life, I don't think you should need the safety blanket of being dressed identically to your closest friends at all times. If you do, fine, but I think it's kind of a bummer. [/quote]

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