Reply to PSA- Yes, you are a jerk if you don't invite your older parents to Christmas

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Reply to "PSA- Yes, you are a jerk if you don't invite your older parents to Christmas"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few hours? More like they spend 4 days and nights as our houseguests, making things difficult and generally making me dread Christmas. Not this year, sorry. They have 3 other grown children they can spread the love this year and visit one of them for once. [/quote]

You’re an adult and can say not to hosting for four days. It doesn’t mean you can’t offer up your home for Christmas brunch. Use your words and be firm about what the invite entails.[/quote]

Sure. When my parents or my husbands parents say they want to fly in for Christmas from the west coast I’ll say “we would love to have you for Christmas brunch! You’re welcome anytime after 9am and by mid afternoon we will be heading to see Moana 2 so we’ll have to wrap things up by then”. And if they ask if they can stay the night or if they need to fly in and fly out on the same day, or find accommodations for the night and fly out the next day, I’ll say “the invitation is for Christmas brunch.”[/quote]

+1 lol. OP is out of touch. Many extended 
 families are spread out these days. Jobs left some urban areas in the Midwest in the 70s through the 90s and never returned. Kids went to college, got a job in a big city, and didn’t settle down in the same areas as their parents. “Invite them over for a few hours on Christmas Day!!!” Doesn’t work for a lot of us. [/quote]

+1, both DH and I are from rural small towns and staying in those towns was never really an option unless we wanted to be a school teacher or a waiter (and even with those jobs, there's no guarantee we would have gotten jobs there). We live in the DC area largely for work. For a time we always went back to one of our parents' houses for Christmas, but now with our own kids and the high cost of travel and the stress of traveling this time of year, we don't. And while I love my parents, this is really NOT the time of year I want to host them -- we have so many obligations this time of year with school stuff and work stuff and by the time Christmas rolls around we just want to relax and do nothing. I don't want to have to plan meals with their needs in mind or work our schedule around them or come up with ways to entertain my dad who gets antsy if there aren't events planned and will take it out on people by domineering the TV to watch car racing 24/7 if he is bored.

Happy to host them at other times. Happy to visit them at other times. This is just the reality of Christmas for us -- it is not a good time to get together. It more expensive and less enjoyable.[/quote]

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