Reply to Go for a 4th when you are 40 years old?

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[quote=Anonymous]From the ages/spacing of your kids it looks like this is when you would normally start thinking of the next kid. Could part of it be that?

The big questions I would ask myself are--

how do you handle saying no to your kids? Because with 4 you will have to say no to them and miss more of their events.

How are you with finding time for your marriage?

Are you someone who would rather feel stretched thin or sometimes feel like your life isn't full enough? (And do you have ideas of ways to create that "fullness"?)

Do you have support of nearby family who help with childcare? (Understanding that situation can change due to health reasons--I'd avoid relying on grandparents for instance.)

I understand the concept of feeling like someone is missing because I did feel that way, and then didn't after we had our youngest.

At the same time, in your position I would not consider having a fourth. I think you appreciate any and all available bandwidth in the ages you are heading toward--middle school with your oldest may be a big transition ... and having 3 kids at 3 different schools is no joke.

Also--one beautiful thing about having bandwidth is that you may end up with a bonus kid of sorts through a friend of one of your children who needs a bit extra. We are in that situation and it's been absolutely lovely for all of us. [/quote]

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