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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just stop making plans.  I told DH I'm responsible for plans with my side, he is responsible for his. Simple.  [b]His family blames me for him not making plans[/b] and ai look at him (in front of them) and say if Bob wanted to do that he would have arranged it - clearly he didn't want to.[/quote]

Same here except they never said anything about it in front of me, just bad mouthed me behind my back or pressured DH to get me to do it.  I could always tell when they did it because he'd come home and suggest I reach out to MIL/SIL about a holiday/birthday/event/etc.  I'd ask, 'why'?  He'd respond along the lines of, 'you know, get the details and stuff'.  I'd ask him if something was going on that he couldn't do it and he'd just say "No.....".

It was really frustrating for me because he struggled to push back against his family's expectations of me.  The women in his family, especially, had firm ideas of the role of women marrying into their family.  It wasn't a role I was interested in and DH was uncomfortable communicating that. I know we missed a number of 'family' events because they didn't communicate the plans to him.  They, eventually, realized that it wasn't the punishment they thought it was and started to communicate with him directly. Manipulative asshats. [/quote]LOL. Agree. Sons really need to step up.[/quote]

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