Reply to How normal is it to yell at your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We yell most days. Personally I think the conflict adverse houses and kids are a lot more anxious.[/quote]

Genuine question for people who describe houses where people don't yell as "conflict adverse." Do you yell in the rest of your life? I don't yell at my spouse or my coworkers or my friends, and they don't yell at me. We have conflicts; we just talk normally through them. It seems odd to me to expect yelling.[/quote]

I don't describe no yelling as conflict averse but I think that my four year old's ability to talk through the conflict of wanting to keep playing indefinitely instead of putting on his shoes to go to pre-K is probably pretty limited compared to your spouse and coworkers.

Most of my yelling happens when my kids need to stop doing something fun and do something necessary (wash hands for dinner, put on shoes, brush teeth, etc). It's either repetition more loudly or threats (aka consequences). I wish they'd logically understand that oral health is more important than squeezing out 5 more minutes of Legos, but alas. [/quote]

PS I DO see a bit of sensitivity to any kind of unpleasant tone as "yelling" among my kids sometimes in interactions with others/each other, which a) means I probably don't do it that much, and b) strikes me as oversensitive, i dont think what I'm seeing is anywhere near yelling. You have to be able to deal with someone sounding unhappy with you in a normal or slightly elevated tone of voice without getting upset and making it all about feeling attacked.  People will sometimes express negative emotions and not always sound calm and pleasant. Not being able to handle any of that IS conflict aversion because it's insisting on an unrealistic level or self regulation from, often, other kids. [/quote]

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