Reply to If you are a mistress, do you feel ANY guilt?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you realize that men lie about their status, or fail to disclose it. And when the target of an advance is a young woman, it may never occur to her that the man she met dancing or at a conference would be married, especially if she is single and ethical. That literally happened to me (long ago) when I was 28.

I was working overseas, was out one night at a club, and met an older American who was there on business. He ended up hanging out with me and my group of friends, and later we ALL ended up back at my apartment for an after party. One by one the other friends left, but he stayed. The chemistry that had building all night exploded. I was so in the moment and naive, it NEVER occurred to me that he might be married because he wasn't wearing a ring. The next morning after a few more hours together, I randomly asked him if he was married, and he said "yes."  I was shocked, and yet the hook had been set. I should have said no when he asked me out again, but I there was a lot going on in my life at the time, I was far from home, lonely, and I found him comforting in addition to sexy and fun.

It was a slippery slope. I'd see him whenever he was in the country, and otherwise went about my life--in other words I rationalized it as a situational thing. He probably had one of "me" in every city he covered. That situation continued episodically for two years, during which time I never had any illusions about something more, nor was I particularly curious about his wife--he was just a hot older man who rocked my world.

Life went on--mine changed in all the ways you can imagine it does at that age. Looking back 30 years later, and 20 years married, I see how he preyed on my youth, naïveté and loneliness; and how callous I was to think it wouldn't be hurtful to his wife because it was happening so far away from his hometown and she didn't know about it.

So no, in the moment I felt no guilt, but I do wish I'd chosen another path.[/quote]

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