Reply to DH Was Called a 'Twink'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gays cannot say whatever they want just because they're gay . Sexual harassment rules apply to them too, as well as everyone else.  No one is exempt from the rules.[/quote]

True in theory, but not everyone who is on the receiving end of something inappropriate needs to contact HR. I’m a straight white dude and wouldn’t appreciate being on the receiving end of a boss calling me “twink,” but I would never in a million years go to HR if that one-time comment were all that there were to it. (Whereas I’d have no problem advising a woman or a gay man to go to HR for a one-time comment along the same lines.) In the moment, I’d tell the boss, “alright, enough,” or if I failed to do that I’d talk to him afterwards (“hey listen, I’m not wanting to make a big deal about it but I really didn’t appreciate that”). Squealing to HR would negatively impact OP’s career as he forever becomes whispered about as the whiner who couldn’t take a little ribbing, not to mention his own self-image of what he’s capable of handling on his own.[/quote]

You do you. Not everyone has the same laissez faire attitude.  Nor should they.  Some others may feel very uncomfortable to what is literally tantamount being called a 'nice little F boy' by a gay person.

Any type of language like 'twink' has ZERO place in a professional work environment, good grief. [/quote]

PP here. You’re misunderstanding what I said, or maybe I was unclear. I agree that it would make me feel uncomfortable and I agree that it is inappropriate. The question is how to respond. I think I’d have better luck and fewer negative repercussions by going direct with the supervisor rather than running to HR. The sad truth is, different standards apply to minorities as compared to non-oppressed groups like straight white men - perhaps appropriately so, I don’t know - but a straight white man going to HR will be perceived differently than when a minority does it, it just will. OP and anyone in his situation should be cognizant of that before they act. [/quote]

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