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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I wear a bracelet an ex from years ago gave me.[/b] My husband teases me about it but the bracelet is so pretty! I didn’t wear it for 5
two decades and at this point realized that just silly. It’s just gold not my heart.[/quote]

I do too. I have a Tiffany heart toggle one. They have kind of come back in, and I think they cost like $700 now, so I have been wearing it.

But here's the thing -- that was a boyfriend I had in law school, 20 years ago, and it didn't work out, but things ended amicably enough. If I had a married bf and the relationship ended horribly over him not leaving his wife? I absolutely would not be wearing a piece of jewelry from him. Bad memories, bad energy, and it was a bad situation all around. That is not even jewelry that should have been given. My Tiffany bracelet is neutral to positive, but no strong feelings attached at all. I am suspicious of this AP OP references wearing that jewelry. Totally different situation. I think OP should be suspicious. Maybe she just likes the necklace; maybe it isn't over. [/quote]

I think maybe it isn’t over - but I also think that I wouldn’t assume she wanted him to leave his wife for her. Sometimes APs are married and just want something on the side. Sometimes APs care about a person but don’t necessarily want the baggage of a full marriage — you know, because they know the guy’s bad habits, like that he cheats. They are happy for the attention, the dates, the gifts and the sex - and then send him home for someone else to deal with him.[/quote]

Yeah, these APs exist. For sure. But they don't tend to be going around wearing sentimental jewelrey gifts over a year later. [/quote]

If the jewelry was nice and she doesn’t have bad feelings about him, I don’t know why she wouldn’t wear it. But I’ll go back to what I first posted - I think it’s still going on.

I’ve posted this before but there are basically two kinds of affairs in my mind: quickie, one-night stands that can go on a bit longer but are not ongoing emotional affairs. And longer, ongoing affairs that have an emotional component. If the husband engaged in the first (which seems unlikely given the gift), it is often possible to continue the marriage. But it’s very hard to overcome the second type of affair because even if it ends, it signals a huge, ongoing betrayal, and often leads to other long-term affairs until the man does find someone he is willing to end the marriage over. It seems this was this kind of affair and I really feel for the wife. We can tell her to stop following the AP, but if the affair is ongoing, it is smart of her to keep an eye on the situation.

The best chance for this marriage - assuming the guy is all in - is greatly limiting chances they can see each other: change jobs, move away, put each other on your social media accounts. If he’s not willing to do those things after a long-term affair, then chances are the marriage will end sooner rather than later. The problem isn’t the necklace or either or the two women — the problem is the husband who was out romancing another woman for some time while married to the lady who posted this. [/quote]

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