Reply to NYT The Daily: The Parents Aren't All Right

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[quote=Anonymous]The podcast touched on some important points, but I really think missed the mark by not discussing:

-the long-term impact of COVID on parents - eg loss of child care, school closures, social isolation, profound stress, loss of relationships/community, having to work full time while also caring full time for your children and facilitating their virtual learning - for weeks, months, or more, etc.

I honestly feel the trauma and stress of that time completely destroyed my resilience as a parent and negatively impacted my family, mental health, relationships, and physical health in both the short term and in longer term ways that may not be as acute or easy to measure, but are harmful, eg increased anxiety, sleep deprivation, frayed social ties, etc. I think parents as a whole who lived through this time while caring for children suffered a lot and the ripples of that trauma and unseen negative impacts continue to play out in our lives and will continue to do so, despite things being “back to normal.” I’m sure I aged a decade and my mental and physical health is much worse for having lived through that time. I’m sure there will be studies that come about this in the coming decades to actually quantify it, but I feel this acutely in just feeling generally worn down and burned out and I have talked with many other parents who feel similarly.

-the increase in modern work expectations, facilitated by tech. Technology has destroyed all boundaries of having separate personal and professional lives. The bleed over of work beyond the hours of 9-5 and expectations and pressure of constant availability, productivity, 
and responsiveness (eg a Teams light showing you’re inactive when you don’t move the mouse every 3 minutes, emails that fly early in the morning/on weekends/late at night, your boss’ ability to call/text/zoom/email you at any moment, taking a week off and coming back to hundreds of emails, etc) means people are working harder and more hours than ever, which is not realistic for anyone with caregiving responsibilities, yet somehow we are all just expected to work like we don’t have kids with no boundaries.

-the negative impact of screens. We are now living in a time where we are all basically screen addicts, even our kids. It’s absurd how much time modern humans spend in front of screens each day and not outdoors, or with each other, or doing real life activities. Addictive algorithm-based apps and social media platforms that commodify our attention, feed us endless dopamine squirts that keep us hooked, and make us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate about our lives combined with  the loss of real in person time with others being replaced by virtual interactions/screen time is destroying people’s mental health and especially children’s. We are all screen addicts of these stupid 6 inch glowing rectangles and some of us know that and are also addicted,
but also remember what life was like when we didn’t have these things and it was different.

I think these factors, combined with the ridiculous economic shifts that necessitate two working adults in modern families (when previously one person could provide an adequate living for a family), lack of child care and paid leave, and fraying of social/community/family ties that previous generations of parents benefited from have created the modern toxic sludge environment most modern working parents are navigating through.
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