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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP they are freezing you out on purpose because they know that if they're nice to you, you'll escalate your demands. You have an image of a blended family in your mind and if they show you any minor courtesy it makes you think you can implement it. So they have to be super cold to you to stop you from pressuring them. It's like when someone wants to date you and you don't want to date them-- they can't give you any encouragement and mixed messages make it worse. My mom is like this too, so I've had a freeze on her boyfriend and his family for 20 years. It isn't gonna change.

You need to ask yourself how this looks 5, 10, 15 years from now. Because they aren't going to come around. Your kids can spend holidays with your ex, I hope, if you choose this situation over time with your kids. His kids have nowhere else to go. So are you hoping they never come home? I just don't see how these ingredients produce an acceptable family life for anyone.[/quote]

That's not quite true. I have been around for almost a decade and when they were younger, they were nicer (read: their mom hadn't poisoned them as much) and I never escalated my demands.  You know why? Because I have my own kids to worry about and I don't have that much time.  If anything, I am around much less and so are my kids.  [/quote]

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