Reply to Sick of spending every holiday with the in-laws

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In-laws are local, my parents are dead. We’ve been spending the holidays with them since before kids, now with three kids it’s even more of a given since it’s hard to travel. Some of the bigger holidays are multi-day affairs, like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Often these gatherings involve their friends who are obsessed with talking politics and work. It’s been many years of living close to them and feeling like I’m a prisoner to this arrangement.

It would be nice to have a holiday to ourselves - feel totally relaxed, have our own rituals, eat Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner IN MY PJs while letting the kids be silly instead of dressing up and having to manage them so they have good manners for their guests. They are not a warm and fun household so I’m never at ease when I’m there.  But I know they would be upset, DH also doesn’t want to introduce conflict. Would you just keep going along with it until kids are old enough to travel as a family, or just do your own thing - not skip all holidays but either Thanksgiving or Christmas on our own - at the risk of upsetting them? How would you explain it (other than lying and saying someone is sick). [/quote]

Talk to your DH and skip one holiday this year.  Let them know that you won’t be attending X but so excited to see them at Y.  We did it and it’s so much better.  Traveling with kids during the holidays is a nightmare and we have two sides to go see.  Personally I would pick Christmas.

My uncle and aunt did that but they invited the grandparents over for breakfast and watching present opening but after those hours (8-11 and as kids got older and slept in 9-11) the grandparents were sent on their way.  Or tell them you’ll see them Christmas Eve but Christmas Day you are just doing with your family.

Good luck![/quote]

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