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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like you're just setting yourself up for disappointment and annoyance if you assign him tasks to do.  Let him do nothing and then figure out something to do when he becomes bored.  [/quote]

This.
oP—you said you don’t want to be told you have a DH problem (while acknowledging that you already know you do)—but then you go in to ask the question anyway about what’s reasonable to expect of a husband while on a non-academic sabbatical, as though YOU should use this as a gauge for what to expect from YOUR husband?

The bottom line, unfortunately, is that the answers to your question won’t matter because even if we outline what is typical or reasonabke to ask, he isn’t likey to do those things and that will only serve to reinforce an expectation in your part that you already know he won’t meet…and yet you will just get more upset and frustrated that he isnt meeting them.
Why? What’s the value in that other than ti see deeper discord and resentment??

If you don’t plan to leave, then you need to work with the husband you have—not the expectations that other people have for their husbands. You will both be much happier that way.

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