Reply to Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?

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Reply to "Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there are two separate issues here.

One is the medical need to have given you the enemas. No, I don’t think it was abuse, even if there was a better way the implementation could have been handled.

The second is your experience of it and your nmoms dynamic with you. This is the part that I think is more significant and why it is still an issue and a triggering memory. With nmoms they just cannot validate or empathize with an experience of their child’s, especially if that experience might invoke any sense of guilt, shame or reflection of actions on their part. They will actually double down and dump that shame on the child in the form of judgment and condemnation. This makes it really difficult to ever feel understood or seen or supported by the child, even into adulthood. This is where reparenting oneself comes into play. Your mother cannot, because she is incapable of empathy for this situation, hear you and be emotionally available to your experience of this event. I would suggest some inner healing work to soothe the inner child in you that felt traumatized by this experience. [/quote]

And to add - this type of invalidation, and even emotional punishment for trying to express feelings that the mother doesn’t want to hear, was probably experience thousands of times by you as a child and adult. So when this memory comes up for you or you try talking about it with your mom all those experiences compound upon the invalidation you feel in the present conversation. A part of you may still be trying to find wholeness in these conversations with your mom, but she is not able to provide it. Once you realize this and begin to seek the wholeness and healing for yourself (it is possible. The mother in you can reparent the child within you) then you will stop seeking it from you mother. [/quote]

No. Just stop. [/quote]

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