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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this might sound odd but my high school DD is having an issue at her school. We are African immigrants and have largely lived in predominantly white environments our DD’s entire life. At my DD’s private school, I would say most of her close friends are not Black (mostly white). There is, however, a group of Black American girls who hang out together, eat lunch together, etc. My DD has said when she has said hello or tried to engage in small talk, these girls usually snub her or roll their eyes. My DD is very happy in her friend group (really sweet girls) but is concerned she is being alienated from these other girls just because of her close friend group.

Any advice?  Culturally, I am at a loss, as I did not grow up here but I know there is often significant tension between Black and White Americans or that Black American students sometimes feel ostracized. I want to tread carefully so as not to offend anyone but I also want my DD to have friends who love and accept her for who she is. I don’t want her to have to try to be something/someone she is not just to fit it. I know this can often be a point of tension between Caribbean or African families and Black Americans (them not accepting us and us not accepting them). Not sure how to navigate or if it even needs to be navigated.  [/quote]

Stick with the group that supports you.  The teenage years are hard enough.[/quote]

I agree. Sometimes trying to fit in with that crowd is exhausting. The moms are often in sororities or little known groups like J&J. Although of little relevance to the outside world, these moms and their daughters make it seem like you have to check off certain criteria, often superficial and materialistic, just to be accepted.  Your DD right now probably has friends who accept her just as she is, think she’s interesting and are judging her solely on her personality. Being accepted by the Black girls at her school may mean changing some positive aspects of her personality just to fit in. It’s not worth it. I’m African and dealt with this growing up and the friends who accepted me as is were my real true friends and we are still friends today. [/quote]

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