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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread comes up periodically and I always have the same thoughts: I don’t really care about reciprocity of hosting or money or anything like that. I do care that the people I’m putting myself out there to express I’d like their company show me in some way that they are glad I did and also like spending time with me. Even texting or something is better than nothing. I am an organizer at heart and don’t mind hosting or planning but I hate the feeling of “do they really want to be my friend”. Some of the reasons for not reciprocating have nothing to do with that but there are also lots of people who always say they don’t care about socializing or don’t care about socializing with specific people and that’s what I worry about when I am doing all the inviting (not necessarily all the hosting) if that makes sense.[/quote]

[b]Isn't accepting the invitation an indication they like spending time with you?[/b] If they don't, they'll either ghost you or keep being too busy. [/quote]

Actually, no. Many many people here have said that they feel obligated to accept invitations as declining is too awkward. So you have a bunch of reluctant attendees because they can't put on their big boy/girl pants and JUST SAY NO.[/quote]

Perhaps you are leaning too heavily on people for these invites then. I personally do not have a lot of trouble saying no to a n invite I don't want to go to. But I do sometimes go to things out of obligation especially if it's an invite from a school or neighborhood family and our kids are friends. Some people are pushy and insistent about "getting the kids together" and if my kid genuinely likes theirs I will accept. But I might not reciprocate because we have a small home and DH and I are lower energy people in general. So like we have some school and neighborhood families who have hosted us for playdates or get-togethers several times and we've never reciprocated but I don't feel bad about it because if it were up to me our kids would just play together at school and we'd do some playground hangs occasionally after school and on weekends. When they are older if they want to do sleepovers or whatever we'd host that. But I just do not want to host their whole family at my house to facilitate the kids hanging out -- it's small and awkward and I'm tired. They clearly really want that kind of dynamic and if they ask us to come over for that at their place I will accept. But I'm never going to reciprocate because that's just not how I want to interact. I'm only doing it at their place for my kid's sake and because they have suggested it 14 times and I don't feel like I can make anymore excuses.[/quote]

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