Reply to Grandpa making inappropriate comments to my 14 year old son

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Grandpa making inappropriate comments to my 14 year old son"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks everyone for the responses. Absolutely this bothered me A LOT but I hadn't talked to my dad about it yet BECAUSE I was angry and having intense reaction that is possibly not warranted. Which is exactly why I posted here, to gauge it from people who grew up differently. Not sure why some people get so bent out of shape about someone having a different reaction than they would especially when its based on past like what I grew up with.

My therapist used to tell me that while yes my dad is an issue and there's potential of harm, there are some good parts to, my kids aren't with him a lot, and he's not my kids parent - they don't look to him for approval or love, which they do get healthfully from me. He used to be pretty awful sometimes when they were younger though conversations did help - my kids saying they didn't want to go there anymore because of how he treated them and how he treated my mom changed things a little.

Absolutely there was no jokiness or buddy like bugging or teasing about how my dad says things like this and said this. He is a very critical person and the shaming my son and bringing up sexuality was unnecessary and done inappropriately. Had he just said about pockets, or said in a teaching way that some people do that, and it makes others uncomfortable... its his acting like my son is dirty and perverse masturbating in public likes he's some addict or something, and that everyone else is dirty and perverse to think that about my son doing that that's the problem. It's not typical.

And what's the score is his talking about ball hockey with the stick being the obvious.

My core worry is my kids being affected by my dad the way that I was.

But either way, my son did ignore my dad the second time. And my son knows about pockets and other options for feeling less confident. It just doesn't surprise me that he would be extra nervous feeling with the way my dad looks at people.

To the person who said east european - my dad grew up in central Europe so that could be a factor to his reaction. But agin, its the shaming hateful way of talking, not the "hey young man, let me help you out guy to guy". And it is weird too because he doesn't have that type of relationship with my kids where my son would ever feel comfortable having my dad talk to him about anything meaningful.
[/quote]

Get your kid some shorts without pockets to break the bad habit.[/quote]

This wins weirdest comment on this thread.  [/quote]

Whatever. A kid touching his balls all the time is in need of some redirection. You must be OP wondering why this thread isn’t going your way.[/quote]

Just because hands are in pockets doesn’t mean he is touching his balls.  He probably isn’t.  It’s entirely possible he just has his hands in pockets.  [/quote]

I agree but what the grandpa said is that people will think he is.  And this thread is proof that some people think that.  It may be more older people think that but it’s probably good for boys to be aware at least some people will think that.  I remember adults telling teen boys not to jingle change in their pocket because that’s what people would think.  I guess no one has change in their pocket now but if he’s wearing athletic shorts and fidgeting with something in his picket, I agree it will look a little odd.  I think sometimes boys do it because they think it can help hide a surprise erection if they sort of pull the pants away from the crotch.  
Anyway I think grandpa was trying to be helpful, although his advice was somewhat dated.   This falls into the same category of grandmas telling teens “if you wear shorts with your butt cheekcs hanging out, boys will think you are fast.”  I think teens just ignore these comments.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics