Reply to My sister told me I am not allowed to grieve our father in her house around her baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the bare minimum point is that crying people make the baby cry. Babies mirror emotions.  I don't think crying around the baby will do lasting damage.  It just will get the baby rattled that hour or day.

So don't make your sister cry while she's holding the baby and baby can see.

And OP shouldn't cry and look at the baby.  If the baby can't see or hear it, it's a non-event.

I think the point is to keep long, sad discussions somewhere where baby's day won't be disturbed.  That could even be another part of the house.

To me this is like saying "Don't wind me up!"  It's not that big a deal.[/quote]

I’m sorry but this is just funny. Anyone who thinks they can program a 9 month old’s day so they are never disturbed or upset hasn’t had a baby in a long long time. [/quote]

It's to make the baby cry less than the 
baby otherwise would.[/quote]

You still can’t control that. A fire truck going by could make the baby cry. Baby won’t remember this anyway. She could spend a whole day shrieking and it will make no difference to the baby.

As someone who recently lost a parent I also think it’s a super weird ask. To say you’d like to keep things as upbeat as possible, sure. To forbid any show of negative emotion in your home is weird. As another PP said it’s totally normal that a grandmother might tear up for a few moments when holding a grandchild and thinking about how her husband isn’t there. Preemptively forbidding this is bizarre.

If the grandmother is prone to hours-long fits of hysteria that’s different but again has more to do with other adults not wanting to be dragged through that versus a baby. My cousins brought their 10 months old to my mom’s funeral and the kid wasn’t phased at all. And obviously won’t remember it either way. [/quote]

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