Reply to My sister told me I am not allowed to grieve our father in her house around her baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really see the big deal.

Can't you just.. not cry at her house? It's a weird rule, but her house her rules.[/quote]

My mother who I wasn't even close with died three years ago. Yesterday a Neil Diamond song came on and it reminded me of when my mom and I listened to it when I was 18 and we sang together and danced around the living room. I cried. I did not schedule crying for that time - I had other things on my calendar. But that's how crying works - it just arrives. [/quote]
So you leave then? What are you going to do, just sit there crying in front of someone who told you they don't want to deal with that? Clearly she is struggling and overwhelmed and doesn't want to (or can't) deal with a bunch of people crying and reminiscing in her home. If you want to cry, cry somewhere else. [/quote]

So I should go stand outside in 95 degree weather by myself and cry on someone's driveway? Make it make sense.[/quote]

So you should be allowed to cry whenever you want in your sister's house even after she has asked you not to? Make it make sense. [/quote]

Yes, because people feel their feelings. It's not reasonable to ask someone to not cry. Is the sister going to tell her baby not to cry and go outside if she has to? That makes no sense.[/quote]

So any feelings you feel, you can feel them in her house, at any time, for as many months or years as you want to? Come on.

Can't you see your sister is stressed and overwhelmed and YOUR GRIEF IS NOT HER PROBLEM?[/quote]

I am not OP. I am just a poster who thinks OP's sister is ridiculous to say someone can't cry in her house. The sister can keep changing a diaper or making dinner or doing a load of laundry or whatever while OP cries if she needs to. Sister doesn't need to DO anything. [b]Grief is not a problem to fix.[/b] [/quote]
Nor does this new mom want to deal with everyone else sobbing while she's trying to care for her child. You are so callous to the sister "well she can just go do laundry while OP cries" how about OP adults up and goes somewhere else instead? You'd relegate a homeowner to chores because you (or OP) can't control yourself or step outside for a few minutes? Disgusting. [/quote]

What’s disgusting is a daughter telling her recently widowed mother that she can’t cry in her house during her first visit to see the baby since his death. That is disgusting and cruel.[/quote]

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