Reply to What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?

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[quote=Anonymous]Are they both getting a quality education at a school that is a good fit for their qualifications and ambitions? That is equal in my book. If one of my kids gets into UVA and the other one goes to a private or out of state school, I am not paying the UVA grad the difference in tuition cost. Kids pick different hobbies, different sports, different camps. I don’t try to match the amount I spend on them dollar for dollar. I don’t spend more time with my soccer player to make up for the fact that his games are shorter than his brother’s baseball games.

I ask myself - Are each of my kids getting the support and resources they need to be successful? Is the money or time we’re investing in one kid taking away attention, support, resources or opportunities from the other child? When we have to choose between competing priorities, are we balancing our choices between the kids so one is not benefiting more than the other?

The one exception I can imagine to the college funds conundrum is if one of my kids said “I think I will want to go to law/med/grad school. If I choose to attend this in-state school instead of a private school I was also accepted at, would you earmark some funds you would have spend for undergrad for grad school? If that was the case I think we would discuss some options and then be transparent with both kids on our plan and our reasoning. [/quote]

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