Reply to “Not a sign of good breeding”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.[/quote]

Or Virginia Beach.[/quote]

Unless you’re an old money Richmond-bred type, in which case the north end of Va Beach or Sandbridge are acceptable. But never, ever OBX.

Otherwise, talking about money or how much something costs is a dead giveaway. [/quote]

I am the OP and I am actually serious. On this forum [b]I have learned that complimenting someone’s home when you visit is considered tacky[/b]. That kind of stuff. I had no idea! I mean I know enough not to buy a truck but am genuinely curious about what more subtle things I am doing that blow my cover when I try to pass as someone raised middle or upper class. [/quote]

I have never heard this. I thought saying something positive and sincere was the right thing to do! And all this time people thought "wow, what a peasant" when I did it.[/quote]

Because it's incorrect. I am what OP would probably describe as "well-bred." It is customary and gracious to say something nice about your host or hostess's home. [/quote]

I think it’s a bit more subtle than that - it’s sort of about knowing your place. To make a dramatic example, it is by no means rude to warmly tell a close friend that you think their house is lovely when you go to visit (I would put the outer bounds of this at older relative of close friend, or older person with whom you socialize often. [b]But if someone is absolute leagues above you in importance [perceived that way by most, or very obviously so], then you would come across as extremely arrogant for implying that your opinion on their personal interior decoration matters. [/b] Even if you worded the compliment in the most careful way, you may as well have smacked your gum and yelled, “Great job decorating, you!”

Similarly, it’s not a question of French toast vs eggs Benedict per se, as someone upthread claimed, but rather: (1) you’re talking directly about money; (2) you may be making others at the table uncomfortable bc it sounds like you could be saying you can’t afford this brunch; (3) announcing that you can do something yourself at home better might be seen as crass because it takes away from the point, which is to gather together and enjoy the moment; (4) you could be seen as boasting about your cooking, which is awkward etc etc etc [/quote]

Come again?[/quote]

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