Reply to Would you consider having a revenge affair/ fling if your spouse had an affair and you decided to stay together?

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Reply to "Would you consider having a revenge affair/ fling if your spouse had an affair and you decided to stay together?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It sure how they are lying the kids. It’s noble to suck it up to give your kids a wonderful home environment.  Parents can fake things beer than you think.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because they value being with their kids every day! Americans don’t value family enough.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]the vast majority of philosophers and humans would consider a well-timed and satisfying fling in the wake of a partner’s affair to be quite excusable. It would be about sex, full stop. Nothing to do with proving yourself desirable or better, just evening the playing field. I don’t mean tit for tat necessarily, but it means you now
have an equal experience. Not sure why it would cause so much “hurt”. It makes you equals.
[/quote]

[quote]This makes me think of that maxim we all learn in kindergarten 'two wrongs don't make a....', wait no, not that it was, 'an eye for an eye' yeah.[/quote]

OP, you know yourself (and your DH) best. Therefore, do not let the glib posters (like the "two wrongs" poster) unduly influence you. It may be that your DH can only understand how the affair made you feel after you have one yourself.

[b]I know of circumstances where a DH had affairs, promised to stop, but did not until the DW had started having affairs herself. Once he knew that she had experienced and enjoyed another man, he understood the impact of his actions. In other words, the DH lacked the empathic awareness to understand how the DW felt until she treated him like he had treated her. [/b]

Of course, most men are not that shallow and feel actual remorse for the affair without having to feel the pain themselves. However, you know him well enough to know if he might need the lesson your affair would provide.
[/quote]

Seriously: why stay married in this circumstance.  Everyone in the bolded relationship behaved without honesty, integrity, or self-respect.  This is sad.

There are worse things in life than being divorced and single.  Seriously.[/quote][/quote]

And they don’t mind lying to those children every day. [/quote][/quote]

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