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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I did this for a few years my husband always pointed out that he was relying on me as much as I was relying on him -- he might have been the sole earner but [b]he couldn't go to work unless someone was taking care of the kids. [/b]Yes we could have paid someone else to do it but we both saw the benefits in one of us doing it and I was more willing and suited to it at that time. So DH never made me feel indebted to him for "letting" me stay home -- he was always very clear that he viewed what I was doing as a sacrifice equal to the sacrifice he made in going to work and he valued it. That took the edge off the fact that I relied on him for money.

But I still struggled mentally with not making an income and by the time my youngest was 2 I was taking on some consulting work that I did while she was in PT daycare. I like making money and definitely feel more secure when I do. But not because my DH creates that dynamic -- I think I just spent a lot of years working and got used to associating my value with my earning to some degree and found losing that was hard. Zero regrets about the time I took off but it's not like I just forgot about money and work during that time. It was always in the back of my mind and I never really considered just stepping out of the workforce entirely.[/quote]

Our entire paid work infrastructure is dependent on someone else taking care of our children.

[img]https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/3/free-child-care-caitlin-cass.jpg[/img][/quote]

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