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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP. My exDW broke our family to be with her AP. I've always wondered what I would do if she came to me and said they were moving in together or getting married.

Our kids are a little older than yours and I have contemplated this thought a lot. The vindictive side of me makes me think that I would blow up their relationship by going public about how they met and cheated on each other's family for a year before breaking up the two families.

But the father in me is guiding me and now the second one of my kids told me that they did not want to spend time with them, I'd lawyer up and go to court for sole custody. Plus in VA, I think at the age of 14 a child can go to court and ask the judge to grant their wish to stay with one parent. Maybe see how it goes and [b]if the child ever mentions that they are not comfortable or don't want to go to their house, then be ready to ask the ex that for the kid's emotional needs, you need the kid to be with you full time and he can have access to them whenever, for dinner/movies/play dates etc. [/quote][/b]

I’m the poster up thread whose dad cheated and left for the AP. I’m really sorry that your wife did this to you. But you’re clearly spoiling for a fight and looking for an excuse to keep the kids away from their mom. Don’t do this. I had lots of reservations about spending time with my dad and his new wife and it was hard enough for me without feeling like my mom was just waiting for the opportunity to encourage resistance. Kids need help moving forward in life. You sound like a good dad who is invested in your kids. There is no way around how much this sucks for you and again I’m sorry. But you have to suck it up and be a dad. You don’t force them to spend time at exW and AP’s house, but don’t also pounce the moment they behave like a predictably petulant teen.  Focus on finding yourself some adult companionship and energy that you need. [/quote]

Thanks for sharing this. I am not looking for a fight but have a plan should the kids say that they don't want to stay there. The AP has mental health issues, has guns in the house, and does not have access to his own kids (domestic violence in a previous marriage, checked on MOCO county court site) so I am just being mentally prepared to make sure my kids are safe. If that ends in a fight, then so be it. But my kids and their safety will always come first. [/quote]

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