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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex moved out and bought a new house. His AP immediately moved in. He immediately introduced her to his friends, our joint friends, and our kids; and started posting love notes to her on social media. I suspect some of those people (not the kids) had already met her. I was humiliated and hurt—not about the divorce but about how he immediately went so public with his AP.  I learned about her during the divorce and was shocked when I found out he had already talked about her to our mutual friend.   Therapy, a lot of therapy. And a lot of hard work is what it takes.  My kids are older, although my youngest was 16 when everything happened, so we didn't deal with custody or any of the things that go with having very young kids.  That was a relief.    It brought me to the darkest, lowest place that I've ever been in my life.  I'm sorry you're going through this. [/quote]

So your 16 year old just opted out of seeing your ex?[/quote] No he saw him but we didn't have a formal agreement. He'd text and say he'd like 16 yo to stay with him on a particular week; I'd check with my son to see if it was OK, which he always said yes.   It was very informal but worked for us.[/quote] I also forgot to add, they are married now and seem to be super in love.  My friends who have been around them say they are super lovey-dovey, act like teenagers in love, etc.   I think he found his soul mate forever person.  It hurts how it all went down, but I've climbed mountains to sort through my feelings and I'm in such a good place now.[/quote]

Wow you are a better person than me.  I’m proud of you.  Not the ending I had hoped for for those shameless jerks.[/quote] I'm not a better person, trust me.  For the first 2 years, I was angry and bitter and wished every horrible thing on both of them.  But my anger left me in a dark place. I felt consumed with hate, anger, and ugliness and it had a chokehold on me.  It was not a good way to be. I didn't want to be that person for my kids. I didn't want to be that person for myself. It felt like they won and I felt destroyed. I wanted to find a way to win. And to me, the best revenge I could think of was to make myself whole, happy, and live a beautiful, peaceful life.  If I could do that, I'd be winning. So I worked hard, and I mean hard.  I feel lucky that I was able to work through that, I personally know two women who have remained bitter and angry many years after divorce.  I feel free now. [/quote]

I admire you.  And will try to follow your example.  I’m struggling with a betrayal right now that has me consumed with hate and revenge fantasies.  And I’m normally a super forgiving and loving person so I hate that I am allowing them to take that from me.  Thank you for sharing your story.[/quote]

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