Reply to Frustrated with DH over names

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "Frustrated with DH over names "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like DH just says no to everything and the names that remain on our list are fine but we are 8 weeks away and none of them are standing out. Our last name is two syllables starting with Ma. I also want a middle name. He doesn't care. But we can't even narrow it down to 2-3 names for when we meet her.

I had no idea he cared so much or had so many rules for names. I'm also trying to be extra sensitive and not pull out a I get more of a day because I'm pushing her out that a few friends have done. My husband has a condition where we needed to use donor sperm/IVF so I'm open to his suggestions and I'm really trying but I'm also running out of names here.

I've added the vetoed names as well. So you can see

Names that remain on our list

Eleanor - it's fine, it just doesn't click 
Lillian- I do like it, don't know if I love Lily as a nn 
Charlotte- he wants to call her Charlie and I hate that 
Clara- fine but again I just don't feel like she's a Clara but I don't know what she is 
Beth- he hates Elizabeth but fine with beth as a standalone 
Hannah - he wants it pronounced HAWNUH - Arabic/Jewish pronunciation - we are neither. 
Violet- growing on me, and was my addition 
Sophia/Sophie- same it's growing on me

Names he has vetoed 
His reason is always I just don't like it or so and so will get a big head if we name her after then - talking about family members or friends that share the same name

Elizabeth 
Georgina/Georgia 
Colette 
Matilda 
Margaret/Maggie 
Rowan
Zoe
Arden
Maeve
Maren
Felicity 
Rosalind
Tabitha
Sabrina
Rebecca 
Emaline
Nora
Amelia
Audrey 
Claudia 
Winnie/Winifred
Francine 
Mallory- I also took the off the list after seeing it meant ill-omened and unfortunate one 
Valerie 
Katherine/Kate 
Ava
Emily 
Abigail 
Naomi 
Lucy
Flora/Florence 
Camille 
Mia

Names I have vetoed 
Isabelle/Isabela- 3 friends already have girls with this name 
Daisy- very cute but I see last baby stage or as a nickname 
Olivia- too popular 
Madeline- he would absolutely call her Maddy and I really hate it as a name 
Samantha - one of his best friends has a daughter named Samantha

[/quote]

You are too controlling of the nns.  My daughters have two of your names and one goes by Charlie ( her choice) but the other Madeleine never went by Maddy.  Just my 2 cents.[/quote]

She can decide what she wants to be called and if it's Maddie or something else that's fine. But for DH to take two names and insist he will only call her Charlie or Maddy from birth - not really a nickname. That becomes her name. Your child never went by Maddy because y'all probably didn't call her that. It's a loss of he calls her that from birth, mil sends embroidered Maddy/Charlie stuff up the wazoo. If he committed to calling the child by Madeleine or Charlotte and she decides when she's older or a friend gives her the nn that is totally fine but not exactly the same thing [/quote]

Agreed. This is not about being flexible on nn -- this is about DH doing an end run around a name OP likes by only agreeing to it if she agrees to a nn that she doesn't like. Given the fact that he vetoes almost every name she chooses and also is intentionally calling the baby names he knows she doesn't like as a "joke" I am betting he doesn't even really like these nn or seriously want to use them. It's just a way for him to get another one of OP's names off the list. It has nothing to do with the fact that kids sometimes select their own nn -- that's a separate issue.[/quote]

So what? Op is dictating what nn her husband can use.  If op likes the name Charlotte she can call her Charlotte.  Why can't dh use the nn he likes?[/quote]

Why would a couple choose a name together if one of them is going to use a nn that the other person does not like? And then what if the kid loves that nn and starts asking to go by it exclusively. Then one parent is basically had no say in the name and doesn't even like their kid's name. Just, why would you do this?

Your kid might one day wind up with a nn you don't live and that's life. But it seems like a bare minimum act of parental cooperation to agree on what you will call a child when they are born.[/quote]

NP. My husband and I chose our children’s names together. We do not interfere with the pet names/names of affection we each call our children.

To my mind, OP is also being controlling and ridiculous. They need 1 name and whichever they pick, a few weeks after birth, they will think it’s the perfect name for their perfect child.

[/quote]

A nickname is not the same as a pet name. People can use whatever pet name they want. If they name their kid Anna and the DH wants to call her Anna-Banana then have at it.

But OP is talking about nicknames that are basically just the name you call a kid. It's their name. My kid has a nickname that is the main name she is known by. And if my DH just assigned that name to her, bypassing the actual name we gave her, without amy consideration for whether I like it, that's selfish. It's not a "pet name" or a "name of affection." It's her name.[/quote]

uh, no.  You have other issues that I can't get into. But, let's use the name Charlotte.  If my dh wanted to call her Charlie and I wanted to call her Charlotte I honestly do not see any problem.  I don't think the kid will be confused at all because it is all their name.

I think if you agree on a name which is tough enough for Op than you should not be so controlling. Who knows?  Charlotte could like her full name and ask her Dad not to call her Charlie Or it could be a sweet thing between them.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics