Reply to Non-monogamy: dealbreaker? or am I being close-minded?

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Reply to "Non-monogamy: dealbreaker? or am I being close-minded?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is never close-minded to decide that some sexual preference or arrangement is not for you. Like if I am heterosexual and a woman expresses an interest in me and I say "no I'm sorry but I'm only interested in men" that is not closed-minded. It's just that our sexual preferences do not line up so we can't be together. The end.

Close-minded would be telling this guy that you think his interest in ethical non-monogamy is gross or wrong. You don't feel that way. It's just not for you. And I don't see why your very well-thought out reasons for deciding it's not for you based on your own sexual history are somehow less valid than his. It's fine he doens't want a monogamous relationship. But you do. So it doesn't sound like you guys are compatible and while that may be a bummer it's not the end of the world. You don't even live in the same city! Just move on and you will find someone whose relationship preferences match yours or you will be happy alone but at least you will have made the decision for yourself.

To me this is just the 2024 version of a man pressuring a woman to be open to sex she doesn't want to have or to be a sahm when she wants to work or to have kids when she doesn't want them. The argument that you are being "closed minded" if you won't essentially adopt his sexual preferences is exactly the kind of coercive argument men have always used to try and get women to go along to get along. You don't have to. Do what YOU want and don't feel compelled to change your preferences to accommodate this man.[/quote]

Or to be in a poly marriage because I lie and  cheat while my wife thought we were monogamous.

I don’t have random sex and I only sleep with people that are exclusive (claim to be).

I’m only comfortable when I know it’s just me and the “clean, tested” person.  I don’t want rando germs in the mix. It’s dangerous out there today.  Lots of dirty people with OLD.[/quote]

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