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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cost benefit. Depends how invested they are in their careers, how deeply involved the mother wants to be in their children’s lives. Even if you have a flexible wfh job, you will still not be able to spend as much time with DCs as a SAH. I like to spend my time in each aspect with my kids (tutoring, [b]making sure they’re high achievers in school and activities[/b], taking my time to make them healthy meals, etc) and pass on everything I know to them, so SAH works. Others need a job to be fulfilled so their choice works for them. I personally think my mode of SAH confers more advantage for my kids, but to each their own.[/quote]

This is actually the #1 reason I choose to work. I could quit tomorrow and we would be just fine financially, but then I would be tempted to make my children my new "project". Better to model high achievement than to snowplow your way to it.[/quote]

For you maybe.

I have a longer range perspective as an older GenX who runs in the professionally elite circles of Ward 3. The kids whose mom took some time off when they were young — say 0-8 — are more impressive as a cohort, generally. Smarter,  better personalities, more poise.

Having a low-education nanny for years, then Lord of the Flies aftercare, has a more durable and negative impact on the youngest minds than striver parents care to admit.

And we all went back to work or resumed full time. Medicine, law, nonprofit and corporate real estate.  [/quote]

Posts like this make me glad I could only afford the exurbs anyway (I suppose I'm not high achieving despite a PhD and a senior job in my field, as it doesn't pay a lot for this area). I will admit my 9 year old is not the most poised or impressive in the room, but at least he's not under any pressure to be. This sort of proves the PP's point.

[/quote]

Op here. I’d ignore that prior poster. Such a troll. I’m a doctor and I’m not sure how any doctor can be home for 8 years and just resume work again lol. Look up “the op out generation wants make in”a not so easy. Anyway, I agree with all of you about leave helping in this way. My husband has taken 10-12 weeks with each of our kids to help extend daycare start to 5 months. He’s also the primary parent despite a big job himself.

Re poster about being a SAHM despite not being religious- I think it’s more that during college in the early 2000s, we truly could not imagine being good parents and having two “big” jobs. So even if someone wasn’t religious the assumption was that something had to give. But I think work from home/ flexible work etc has really just made it so that most people I know are working despite two “big” jobs. I also think the stigma of daycare has lessened. I know that I use daycare and several of my friends use daycare despite being able to afford a nanny and we really have felt like our kids are thriving.[/quote]

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