Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nonsense. "Help care for your parents" is as unclear term as it gets. Making sure a parent has food to eat versus taking them to a beauty salon to get nails done is very different. If someone decides to make their lives all about an elderly parent for whatever reason, then it's up to them, but it's ridiculous to complain about siblings not helping in caretaking, when the "caretaking" is about taking the parent to a beauty salon, as the OP complains about. [/quote]

Of course it’s unclear when you don’t care to find out what’s needed. Here’s some of what I’ve done for my dad. I live on the opposite coast. My brother lives 2 hours away and refuses to help, or even visit.

—Talk with doctors and specialists 
—Order meal service
—Work with memory care pre-surgery
—Help coordinate coverage after surgery
—Attend surgery and take to ER in middle of night with complications 
—Assist with contractors on making bathroom ADA accessible 
—Talking with social worker to determine next steps 
—Organize financial papers and make sure his wife knows how to pay all the bills, and make a budget
—Meeting w social worker to determine paperwork and next steps
—Submitting medical POA with all doctors 
—Talking with my dad about his POLST decisions and placing around house 
—Answer questions from caregivers 
—Make a caregiver binder after he lost his longterm one, so he had 6 two months 
—Pay for part of bathroom remodel and meals and any items he needs 
—Advocate for him with surgeon and doctors 
—Manage cat peeing all over house 
—And, yes, made sure his caregiver took him to get a haircut.

This doesn’t even scratch the surface, because he can be home alone for up to 2-3 hour and hasn’t totally lost memory. So, so many people are doing 10x this.[/quote]

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