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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You could move. [/quote]

Op - moving is not an option. Our jobs are here.

I just want to try and find the balance between pushing my kids to excel and giving them space to enjoy their childhood. It seems like everyone around here does the first option to the detriment of the second. [/quote]

There isn't a magic middle path where you get to have it all. Between DH and I, we have 4 ivy degrees and 2 oxbridge degrees, did a D1 sport and had a spot on a national team. We did not have enough money until quite recently, so we have been on both sides of the "being pushed to have a better life" and "having a better life" continuum. There are people at our children's school who expect that we will share their values of pushing, excelling, and seeking external validation over everything. That is not our value.

We have sidestepped it by not applying out to more highly ranked schools, helping the kids pursue sports that are out of the norm for our area or are more chill, and taking the foot off the gas with academics. We could buy a bigger house in the fancier part of the neighborhood and keep renovating to match what our kids' classmates' parents are doing, but we're choosing to spend our time and energy on other stuff. If the kids want to chase grades later, they can, but we're not playing the RSM/academic camp/gifted game. And we are very intentional about acknowledging the tradeoffs to ourselves and to our kids.

You have to make the choice. No one is going to make it for you or magically alter the culture of your community to get everyone to agree to be more chill. You have to have the courage to step off the treadmill or be willing to stay on it and play the game.[/quote]

It does not sound like you have been successfully financially despite all your degrees.[/quote]

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