Reply to Parents Self-Selecting Daughters with IVF

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two boys and had hoped I would have only boys. I had a tough relationship with my mom and as teen and then lost her to cancer in my early 20s. It's probably not rationale but was afraid the same would happen to me if I had girls.

Anyway, my boys are (so far) kind and caring. They help around the house and have lots of empathy. I have tried to raise them that way. Hopefully it sticks. I think girls traditionally take care of their parents [b]because that is what society has them do.[/b] Teach boys the social and emotional skills to do traditional girl tasks and they will do them. [/quote]

I know you’d like to think this because it means you have a decent chance your sons will stick around and take care of you just like daughters.

But most women who have had children have lived with a man post childbirth and seen the utter incompetence and inability to care for someone else.

Yes, they can do something when asked but most men are missing the ability to think of someone else first and not prioritize their own comfort. Just like every mom I know has had their husband complain about the comfort of the chair in the hospital delivery room. No woman would go to the childbirth of another woman and complain about their own comfort.

Men tend to look out for #1. It’s not their parents. [/quote]

Pp with two boys here. My husband took 2 months off with both boys (and another month when I went back to work). He 100% took of me and the baby. He is by no means perfect and does plenty of things to annoy me but he certainly took  care of me when I recovered from child birth and whenever I am sick.

My brother is the same way with his wife. Again not perfect and I am sure he annoys her plenty but overall not selfish.

My brother actually takes care of my dad now (they love close to each other and I live 2k miles away). My husband flies home every few months to make sure everything his mom needs around the house is taken care of.

Again, I am not saying I live in some fantasy world [b]but there are men capable of taking care of people and hopefully those men will raise men who will have those same traits[/b].[/quote]

It was my dad, not my aunt who cared for my grandma in the last years of her life. And my DH, not his sister, who was closest to his mom (he was by her side through much of her cancer treatment before she died). We are raising boys now and they are sweet and caring.

It’s normal in our home for males to cook, do chores, take care of others when sick, etc. and they know that mom has a career too. We don’t do gender stereotypes in our home. Everyone chips in to help.

Honestly I love having boys. They are fun, silly, affectionate, etc. and I know a lot of other parents also raising kind boys.

We need to raise better men, not get rid of them. [/quote]

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