Reply to Tim Carney in the Post: The Ideal Number of Kids is Four (at a minimum)

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Reply to "Tim Carney in the Post: The Ideal Number of Kids is Four (at a minimum)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But how does the 12 yr old feel about it?

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great - she's happy as a clam and is often offering to help even when I don't need it.[/quote]

You won't know she is happy as a clam until she grows up.  She might be an extreme people pleaser.[/quote]

Agree. That's how she gets your attention - by being the perfect little parent helper.[/quote]

I’m the youngest of four. My oldest siblings didn’t have to “raise” me but my sister, who’s the oldest, was desperate for a baby sister and in so many pictures when I was a baby, she’s holding me with a huge grin. We’re still super close today and she has three kids of her own. She loved being a big sister - I think you’re projecting a lot of your own defensiveness onto larger families. The second born in my family is one of my brothers, and he’s an amazing father also to three kids. He’s actually a lot more involved than his wife and is always doing fun things with his kids. They both grew up to love kids. My other brother and I - numbers three and four - have less patience with kids because we didn’t really grow up with young kids around us.[/quote]

That's nice, but the posters who responded spoke of knowing many large families and noticing that none of the oldest siblings who were forced to parent their little brothers and sisters have no kids of their own... or if they do, it's a smaller number than their family of origin.

I have observed this myself.

The burden of parentification is real. I'm so happy for your sister that she liked taking care of you, but for many older siblings, it ends up being a heavy responsibility, and something that impacts their own desire for children down the road.

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