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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me. [/quote]

I get where OP is coming from. I’m not sure what to advise, but money is a practical concern. My DHs income and our lifestyle choices do not give me the flexibility to stay home and I had to come to terms with that. But - he still earns more than I do and I have some flexibility in my career that allows me to be a present parent. This works for us. He doesn’t want to be the default parent. If you want to be the default parent AND the breadwinner, you very well may start resenting him down the line if you can’t come to terms with it.[/quote]

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