Reply to I gave up a baby for adoption. Ask me anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please say "placed" and not "gave up" my child.  Language is very powerful, and the notion of "giving up" a child implies that the child is less than worthy.  [/quote]

When I hear the phrase "gave up," I think that it represents a sacrifice, and that what was "given up" was something extremely worthy and highly desired.  Not so much with "gave away."

OP, I recently found my birth father, although I have not spoken with him yet.  There has always been a deep curiosity, and it was challenging to forge an identity with a missing piece no-one was willing to discuss.

There are so many open adoptions these days, and many adoptive parents have become aware of the issues surrounding closed adoptions and non-contact.  I would not assume that your interest would be disruptive.  At the very least, many adoptive parents send photos and updates, and some may be willing to open it up further.

If you would like to make contact, do so.  The adoptive parents can then decide if, how and when they can respond.  Many adoptees wonder whether they have permission to ask, and some adoptive parents consciously or unconsciously shut down these inquiries because they are worried that the birth parent may be rejecting or, in some cases, unsound.  Letting them know that you are interested and emotionally safe for their child could facilitate contact when and if your child is ready.  [/quote]

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