Reply to DH furious that we texted him during a job interview

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: read your responses and my takeaway:
- Discussion with daughter to not text my husband during the day unless it is an emergency. She rarely texts since she is in school but just was excited about something and so the rare time she does, we'll engage a little bit. It is not like we are texting round the clock. 
- Taxes - unfortunate that we always wait for last minute. i felt we were ready to file earlier in the week but DH wanted to review everything one last time and that happened last night. I felt a quick text to resolve should be ok.
- Interview - DH wrote to me not too long ago saying: I hope you don't think this was my fault. So clearly in his mind it was not his fault he didn't turn off his phone. Refusing to take blame is a huge part of our relationship challenges.
- Doctor - DD is in an experimental study and it requires a lot of consent forms. I had arranged with the facility in advance to sign the paperwork remotely today. I have never had issues using docusign or any other e-signature platforms until today. I asked DH if he prefer that I reschedule when all the paperwork was being sent to him but he didn't answer. He just preferred to do it and then tell me FU. At this point I was frazzled and upset about his interview and just wanted to get the paperwork done with. 
My DH is a hothead. He withholds info which is why I did not know what time his interview was. In fact - I didn't learn about it till Saturday when he was ironing a white shirt and I asked him if he had a scpecial event coming up. he simply said he has an interview on Monday. That was all he wanted to share. And he can be an ass to ma a lot. He doesn't cuss me out often, but he does twist things to make him blameless in every situation. It happens so much that I just keep my muth shut when he makes a mistake. But it is ok for him to point out when I screw up. yes, we are in therapy. Not it isn't working because he refuses to see that he is part of the problem. [/quote]

I'm sorry OP. You are dealing with a lot (sounds like DD has health issues too). How he treats you is not OK. [/quote]

+1
And so now I am retracting prior posts that put a lot of the onus on OP.
However—OP, this is called burying the lede.
Your problem is not today.
Today is just a snapshot of ignoring symptomatic behaviors of unaccountability that have culminated in events like today.

The only thing I can maybe excuse is the fact that he didn’t elaborate or tell you much in advance about the interview and that’s bc I could argue that he probably didn’t want to set high expectations and set you up for disappointment if promotion doesn’t happen.
But the failing to take ownership for phone silencing is on him.
And the FU is 100% on him.
Also don’t bring your DD into it at all other than ti demand that he NOT berate her for texting you. That’s so silly and will actually deter her from communicating with either of you so just don’t.
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