Reply to How much effort towards your appearance does your spouse expect?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How much effort towards your appearance does your spouse expect?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do people really have talks about their appearance expectations for their spouses? WTF?

And how are you folks going to react to the normal sagging and things that come along with aging? Or what about medical problems? I had 3 major surgeries in a 12-mos. period a few years back. My DH had to change my multiple surgical drains. I have large scars all over my body. Nothing can be done with those. Will those of you fixated on looks (I'm otherwise fairly attractive but scarred and some extra weight in the ensuing years) just dump someone like that? How would you react?

Life happens folks. I get looks are important but they are not something that lasts. [/quote]

Absolutely they do. I'm 40s; DH 50s. Things are definitely not hanging like they used to hang, but that doesn't mean we don't still care about our appearance. A few years ago DH complained that I always wanted the lights off during sex and I finally confessed that I don't like my stomach anymore. I'm slim, but my stomach isn't tight. He said, "You've had three kids; we're not 20 years old anymore. I don't care! You're beautiful and I want to see you." Yes, I care a lot about my appearance and spend a lot of time on it - I go to the gym, I take a lot of time with my hair and make up in the morning, I wear nice, flattering clothing. DH also takes great care of himself; exercises a lot and is still trim and toned. Always dressed well. I love this about him. Doesn't mean I wouldn't happily change his surgical drains; of course I would. DH has done some very intimate things for me at the worst moments of my life...don't even want to type them here because they're so gross. Doesn't impact our attraction to each other. It only makes me love him more that he has seen me at my very worst and still loves me, wants me, thinks I'm beautiful. Of course people age and the looks of our youth fade but that does not mean that one can't strive to look one's best at every stage in life. Some people do give up. I'm glad that DH and I aren't among them.[/quote]

You said it though. Not everyone wants to “spend a lot of time” on their looks. And that doesn’t mean they’re giving up. And the expectation that they should spend so much time- what you described is a lot with kids and work and other obligations- is not reasonable.

If you have to move me around with a crane- ok. But if I e just relaxed my beauty routine, that should not be grounds for divorce. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics