Reply to My ex gave my allergic kid unsafe candy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, you haven’t said what your kid’s allergens are, unless I missed it. I’m going to assume they’re tree nuts and peanuts, given the Easter egg context. I’m also going to assume it was a chocolate bunny given the foil wrapped comment you made.

First thing you should teach your kid with nut allergies is to NEVER accept/eat chocolate that isn’t labeled with ingredients.  Doesn’t matter if a parent gives it to them or not.  No ingredients to read= hard pass. I know it’s hard/sad to see them unable to enjoy like other kids, but I’ve always taught my 14 year old son with nut allergies that no brownie or chocolate is worth having a reaction and that we will get a safe treat later.

It sounds like your kid knew that and refused, so good for her.  She carries two epis all the time- good for her.

You know your ex best, but with nut allergies, sweets are really hard, so I wouldn’t necessarily extrapolate that a slip up with chocolate means all food your ex provides is now suspect. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to ever be 100% safe from allergens. There are always food recalls stating undeclared allergens found, etc. [/quote]

Yes, treenut and peanut allergies.

I want to be clear on what you are saying.  If your kid was at an Easter egg hunt, and didn’t eat anything because they know chocolate is unsafe, and then when they got home you gave them a replacement treat which was small wrapped candies you had taken out of a bag, or brownies you had baked, they wouldn’t eat them?

This was the safe treat later.

She didn’t eat it because she was still eating the jelly beans she had gotten.  It was luck.[/quote]

PP is saying "no" not without checking the label. Anyone can make mistakes, 2 pairs of eyes is belt and suspenders.

Glad your kiddo is ok, OP. I know close calls are stressful.

It's really important to manage your image re: parent coordinators. They may not get the food allergy piece and are averse to changing things, especially when there was no harm. Have a therapist you can call or a parent friend of a kid with allergies. Work with your child to always check labels even when food is from YOU. And practice plan if exposed. Practice using expired epis on an orange or box of Kleenex. And then move on.

Learning to manage anxiety around food is key for you and for DD.

People who push divorce as a panacea when there are genuine safety concerns don't get it, it is extraordinarily stressful. But you need to manage your reactions to anyone associated with FC and with ex to keep the custody you have. Get help for that, OP. Not venting talk therapy but CBT or DBT. Post on Kids with Food Allergies for support.

Hang in there. [/quote]

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