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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand. If he is a professor, he has some flexibility to contribute to the house and take care of the kids. Like the whole point of tenure is to have more flexibility. Or is he simply an adjunct? (I doubt that, if he's getting a sabbatical.) Sounds like you don't respect him if you call it a hobby job. 
 
Why are you so burnt out? If your goal is to be a mother then you need to modify your lifestyle to support a single income.[/quote]

I am open to modifying our lifestyle.
We can move back into our old house, and I am happy to do so. Our tenants move out in June, we could do it then.

If we did that, we could live on my husband’s income for the most part. However, he is refusing to do this. 
[/quote]

Why does he refuse? 
Does he want you to work? Like... are you a helicopter-y partner? Do you let him have a presence in the child's life?[/quote]

He refuses because he likes the cushier lifestyle. Yes he wants me to work. He likes to hang out with VPs of tech companies and buy expensive wines to bring to their parties. He likes to send money to his mother and play the doting son. Like many of us, he likes the things money can buy. I don’t fault him for that, I am just not willing to keep enabling it at the expense of my health. I feel used and yes very resentful.[/quote]

I'm curious about the income levels here (yours vs his) because he does not sound like your stereotypical professor. 
I was in academia and sometimes that industry attracts people who don't want a "real job" with a "boss"... if he's not even particularly passionate about his research I"d be pissed too.[/quote]

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