Reply to Desperately need DH to step up and it isn’t happening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I don’t see divorce as an option because then my kids would be with him unsupervised half the time. He lives in filth and is not capable of maintaining a household. His office and the garage are areas he has control over and it is not possible to walk through them or even see the floor. They are overflowing with trash, papers, computers, junk, etc.

I can’t let my kids grow up in an environment like that. I’m staying married to avoid that scenario and so I can ensure that their needs are met. [/quote]

If he's that bad, maybe he wouldn't get 50/50.[/quote]

Op here. My divorce attorney said that barring a documented history of violence or substance abuse, DH will unquestionably be entitled to 50/50 and I should plan accordingly. DH doesn’t use drugs and isn’t violent.[/quote]

Well, yeah. But is your husband really going to step up and do 50/50 or let you continue to do everything? My bet is on the latter. And/or once you've got a record of kids missing school or doctor appointments and pictures of kids living in filth the adjustment to less than 50/50 won't be hard to get. Or find a new attorney that's willing to fight.

Look, you are working yourself into bankruptcy with your deadbeat dud of a husband and that's only going to make everything harder. I realize that as a mother you want to do what's best for your kids, but it's put on your own oxygen mask first time. You do realize that your husband is not going to move and allow renters in?

Reach out, get help from family, friends, etc., and get out of this disaster.[/quote]

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