Reply to Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?

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Reply to "Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my husband's family had nonmarried, childless elderly people (two nevermarried aunts and a nevermarried uncle). I think being childless is fine until you start to slow down and not be able to travel/visit as much. Probably late 70s for all of them. They were all long-lived (into their 90s), and they were lonely and honestly a bit of a burden to extended family.

I don't know what the answer is. I don't think anybody should have children if they don't want to, but, the reality is that once they are elderly and need help and rely on people to visit them for company, it is harder for people without kids to get that support.[/quote]

I just spent almost a decade working in eldercare and hospice care. Many of my clients who had children never saw those children - either because they'd moved far away or because despite living nearby, they just didn't prioritize time with their elderly parents - too busy with their own lives, or maybe just didn't like those parents very much so didn't feel compelled.

When I was a child I watched The Waltons and I believed in the idea that multiple generations got along, lived together, were happy to spend an abundance of time together. Life experience in my own family and in observing other people's families over years of working in professions that brought be up close and personal made me realize that many 'happy' families are only that on the surface, you scratch a little or god forbid dig and you see something else entirely.

Many people end up lonely in old age, even if they have multiple kids and grandkids etc. At least people who choose to be single have built in resilience about being alone, they've learned to enjoy and be at peace with their own company. Both kinds of people often end up relying on paid caregiving when they become incapable of caring for themselves. People should really retire the old canard "but who will take care of you in your old age?" [/quote]

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