Reply to Should I go back to work to get DH to step up?

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[quote=Anonymous]					Wait, do you really expect your husband to just leave surgery or call out to take your kid someplace, op? Hire some help for things like that, or do it yourself, whatever works for you. 
If you are wondering how your husband can plan and then follow through to see his old college buddy but can’t use the same skills and procedures for you, that’s a fair point and I would mention it to him. You do have every right to say “You always say you can’t plan, but you sure hop to it when John calls, I’m really starting to think you just don’t care about me” if that’s how you feel.

As for the education classes, I’d let that go, he needs them for work and well, he really does need them. Dinners, I’m not sure if that’s social or not, but that you can address, I made a hard and fast rule with my husband that Friday and Saturday nights are our couple time. If a friend wants to see us, that person sees both of us. If the friend “can’t” bring his spouse or girlfriend, that’s not my problem, the girlfriend or wife was invited, and my husband and I are socializing together so come or don’t, but this isn’t guys’ night. 
I’d also find things you can just do by yourself that make you happy, reading, writing, listening to podcasts, music, crafts, just something you can do while you wait so you don’t mind the waiting. That’s some of the best advice my mom gave me, you will be waiting a lot with kids and husbands find things and live in places where you don’t mind. We bought a house with a lot of natural light because I love natural light. We have a nice bedroom and bathroom I like, nice shower and bathtub and huge bedroom. I love sitting out in my backyard and we got a low end piano “for the kids” only now I like it. Point being, you need to really try to set things up so you can be truly comfortable and happy on your own since your husband cannot work from home. I’m more sympathetic to you then I may sound, my husband working long hours in an office even during covid nearly broke me. He got a job where he mostly works from home largely at my insistence, and I am grateful for that. This won’t work for you, and money shouldn’t be a problem. If it is, I’d be really concerned. I’m also assuming he isn’t cheating because I’m in a nice mood today. Do think about that possibility either. Any profession has time off, you just need to find out consistently when your husband is off. If he can plan time with friends he can do the same for you. Definitely call him out on that. [/quote]

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